Core Values

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Tommy had a never ending number of storms during his short adult life, so he knew from experience that another storm was coming on the heels of the one that just passed. So he learned to dance through each storm.

If he hadn’t learned to dance, in those rainy moments, he may have remained dry, but unhappy, unfulfilled.

He found his own way of dancing in the rain. He was fulfilled through his special dance. Tommy easily lived two lives in his 21 years. One of a growing young man with talents and warmth for others, and the other in a constant battle with his health.

He had been given the gift to make the most of every day. We have all learned from him. My son lived his life on his terms. He was a free-spirit who lived in the present, on his terms, but was also a dreamer.

He was a leader. He could enter a room and brighten it with his smile, his care-free attitude, or just his presence. I’ve learned over the past year just how strong he was. I’ve learned this from him, his brother, our family, and his friends.

When we found out about his disease, I told Tommy to be ready for the fight of his life. To swing back every time with all his might. He was prepared to fight his disease, but never had a chance to lace up the gloves. He did not die on his terms. He did not want to leave us.

He loved us. He will continue to love us. He died with the dignity and the respect he deserved. He achieved his goal of making us proud. He achieved his goal of being proud of himself. Our lives will never be the same. He made sure of that.

Tommy, I love you with all my heart. I am profoundly proud of you. You have  taught me. I look forward to seeing you again when the time comes. I will continue to be the best dad I can be to your brother, and the best husband to your mom, as you would expect.

It’s my turn to make you proud.

I will forever take a moment, each day, to remember how deeply I love you and how our world is a little less bright, a little less fun, absent of melody, without you in it.  I’m not sure yet how I will cope with losing you. I will find a way.

It’s all good now my beautiful son.

No more pain, only peace. Rest now Tommy, and never, ever stop dancing in the rain.

"When you cried,

 I'd wipe away all of your tears.

When you'd scream, 

I'd fight away all your fears.

I held your hand through all of these years,

But you still have all of me."

My immortal son. I was blessed with two beautiful, kind and caring sons who loved their family deeply and enjoyed their life. 

I was doubly blessed with the very unique relationship I enjoyed with Tommy.  As he grew up, when most moms get shut out of their son’s life, I never did. 

Jack followed his brother’s lead, and my relationship with him has never been stronger. It is as if Tommy is still with us.

I hold in my heart the last year of Tommy’s life. Although it was difficult, our family came together in an unbreakable bond. We may be separated by worlds, but we are still all together and will always be.

It is difficult to put into words my inner most feeling and thoughts about my relationship with Tommy, but I know our foundation embodies the motivations that I can't articulate. I love you always and forever.

"Don't fear your grief. Embrace it. Make something better from it."

These words came from Tommy shortly before he left us, and they've lingered upon my conscious ever since the moment I heard him say it. It felt like a message of guidance that I had been searching for my entire life, and its impact was intensified by the events that followed.

I've come to learn that losing a family member is quite possibly one of the hardest things an individual can go through. The last year has certainly been difficult without Tommy in my life. 

But when the three of us came together to really put this foundation together, I felt an overwhelming sense of optimism. It's been an honor to bring this organization to life in the name of the things Tommy wished for before his untimely passing.

Designing this website and coordinating events has felt so redeeming and worthwhile to me, and it's made me feel that same emotional connection to Tommy I had when he was still with us.

Even though he isn't with us any longer, Tommy's presence remains secure and alive through the livelihood of this foundation and those who support it. I hope that I can do everything in my power to ensure that things remain this way for the foreseeable future.

I hope that our foundation helps to save, at the very least, one life, because at that point, this whole process would have been worth it. I hope that Tommy is smiling somewhere watching us put everything together.